ANGEL'S DEATH AT HER DAUGHTER'S TENDER AGE OF TWO YEARS OLD WAS A TURNING POINT IN THE TODDLER'S LIFE. ALL CUSTODIAL RIGHTS WERE GRANTED TO THE AUNT AND THE DEPARTMENT OF HUMAN SERVICES CLOSED THE CASE WITH FINALITY THAT WAS ULTIMATELY DOOMING. THE CASE WORKER FIRMLY BELIEVED THAT ANGEL'S DEATH FROM A HEROIN OVERDOSE WAS IN TRESSA'S BEST INTEREST. QUITE POSSIBLE, BUT CERTAINLY NOT THE CASE. HER CHILDHOOD WAS WROUGHT WITH SCREAMING, ARGUMENTS THAT SHE DIDN'T UNDERSTAND, PUNISHMENTS FOR CRIMES SHE DIDN'T COMMIT. THE AM/FM RADIO, THE ONLY ELECTRONIC SHE WAS GRANTED, WAS WHERE SHE COULD CLOSE HER EYES AND FIND SOLACE, ESCAPE TO A WORLD THAT BELONGED ONLY TO HER.
TRESSA'S PERSONALITY WAS STIFLED FOR THE BETTER MAJORITY OF HER TIME IN HER AUNT'S HOME; HOWEVER, LATE IN JUNIOR HIGH AND THE EARLY MOMENTS OF HIGH SCHOOL BROUGHT ABOUT A TIME IN HER LIFE WHEN TRESSA BEGAN TO DEVELOP HERSELF. THE THINGS THAT SHE LIKED WERE EASILY RECOGNIZED; MUSIC, WRITING (ESPECIALLY IN HER COMPOSITION NOTEBOOKS), HANGING OUT LATE AT NIGHT WITH HER FRIENDS, SKETCHING AND CREATING IMAGES WITH CHARCOAL. THESE THINGS, OF COURSE, WERE MET WITH ANIMOSITY FROM HER AUNT AND CAUSED AN INCREASING AMOUNT OF FIGHTS.
I TOOK YOU IN WHEN NO ONE ELSE WANTED YOU, SHE WOULD SCREAM AS BLOW AFTER BLOW LANDED ON TRESSA'S SHOULDERS AND THE SIDE OF HER HEAD. YOU OWE ME YOUR LIFE, SHE WOULD WHISPER TO TRESSA IN PUBLIC. THE ONLY REASON YOU'RE ALIVE IS BECAUSE OF ME, SHE WOULD TELL TRESSA AFTER HER ALCOHOLIC BOYFRIEND POURED HIMSELF OUT OF TRESSA'S TINY BEDROOM.
ALL THE NEGATIVE EMOTIONS SWIRLING INSIDE TRESSA CAME TO A HEAD WHEN SHE WAS SIXTEEN. THE PHYSICAL ALTERCATION WAS BAD, IT LEFT HER AUNT WITH A SMASHED AND BRUISED MOUTH, JAGGED AND CHIPPED OFF TEETH, AND A BROKEN NOSE THAT PROFUSELY LEAKED BLOOD. TRESSA'S LAST MEMORY OF HER AUNT, WHO SHE VEHEMENTLY DENIES RELATION TO, WAS HER CLUTCHING HER BLEEDING FACE AND WAILING THE SAME SENTENCE OVER AND OVER: I WILL KILL YOU. IT WAS MORE THAN AN IDLE THREAT, TOO; TRESSA WENT INTO THE CUSTODY OF THE STATE FOR SIX MONTHS, UNTIL A PUBLIC DEFENDANT COULD GET HER EMANCIPATED. SEVENTEEN AND ON HER OWN IN QUEENS, NEW YORK CITY WAS A TERRIFYING NEW ADVENTURE.
RESILIENT, THOUGH, TRESSA SCRAMBLED TO FIND ANY AND ALL ODD JOBS TO BOOST HER INCOME SINCE THE LITTLE COFFEE SHOP SHE WAS WORKING THE COUNTER AT WASN'T CUTTING IT. SHE MADE ENOUGH TO BUY FOOD TO KEEP FROM STARVING, USUALLY, AND THE SOUP KITCHEN WELCOMED HER WHEN SHE HER MONEY WENT MORE TOWARDS CIGARETTES AND LIQUOR. SHE LEARNED HOW TO COUCH SURF, SHE MET OTHER YOUTHS IN SIMILAR SITUATIONS, SHE WENT TO HER FIRST LIVE CONCERT AFTER SAVING PENNIES FOR MONTHS. ALL IN ALL, EVEN TAKING THE BAD TIMES, IT WAS A LOT BETTER THAN THE HOUSE SHE HAD COME FROM.
AFTER SHE TURNED EIGHTEEN, THINGS SEEMED TO IMPROVE IN SMALL WAYS, BUT IN WAYS THAT SEEMED TO VASTLY IMPACT HER LIFE. TRESSA WAS ELIGIBLE FOR A WIDER SCOPE OF JOBS AND SHE WAS HIRED ON AT A VETERINARIAN'S CLINIC TO WORK THE FRONT DESK. THAT ONE ADJUSTMENT TO HER EMPLOYMENT, ALONG WITH HER AGE, ENABLED HER TO MOVE INTO HER VERY OWN HOME. THE APARTMENT WAS SCARCELY DECORATED, MOSTLY DUE TO HER NOT BEING TALENTED IN THE DEPARTMENT OF INTERIOR DESIGN, BUT SHE IS PROUD OF THE SPACE. IT LACKED A COUCH, BUT THE PEOPLE CLOSE ENOUGH TO HER TO BE INVITED OVER ARE COMFORTABLE LOUNGING ON HER BED WITH HER.
OVER THE COURSE OF THE YEARS, TRESSA'S DEVELOPED HERSELF EDUCATIONALLY AND MUSICALLY. SHE'S TAKEN SEVERAL CLASSES THAT INTEREST ASPIRING MUSICIANS, SHE'S SWITCHED UP HER PART-TIME JOB AND HER ODD JOBS TO KEEP HERSELF ENTERTAINED, AND SHE'S MADE SURE TO KEEP HER INDIVIDUALITY IN TACT INSTEAD OF LETTING THE HARSH REALITY OF ADULTHOOD BEAT IT OUT OF HER. AFTER FOUR YEARS AT THE VETERINARIAN'S CLINIC, SHE GRADUATED - IF YOU WILL - TO A RECEPTIONIST POSITION IN A PEDIATRIC'S OFFICE. IT WASN'T ONLY A STEP UP IN THE PROFESSIONAL WORLD, BUT IT WAS A STEP UP IN PAY AS WELL. TWENTY-TWO YEARS OLD, TRESSA IS HAPPY TO SUBMERGE HERSELF IN WORK AND, MOST IMPORTANTLY, MUSIC. IT'S ONE HELL OF A RIDE.